


Thought I Could Fly So Why Did I Drown

by orphan_account



Category: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-30 16:28:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3943663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Well.” Newt said slowly, eyes darkening. “There’s a way, but it’s bloody dangerous. None of us have dared try it, not sure what would happen.” </p>
<p>OR</p>
<p>Newt shows Thomas a way to get his memories back without getting Stun</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thought I Could Fly So Why Did I Drown

 “No.” Alby deadpanned, shooting Minho a dark look. “I won’t permit it.”

“I wasn’t asking your permission, Admiral Alby.” Minho scoffed, shaking his head. “I’m telling you what my plan is, you’re going to change my mind.”

“How did you go from ‘let’s make Thomas Keeper of the Runners’ to ‘let’s throw his shank to the Grievers’?” Alby shook his head, narrowing his eyes. Newt glanced up from his spot by Alby’s side, where he’d bteen staring down at his shoes.

“I’m not saying we kill him, Alby, I still think he’s important.” Minho cracked his knuckles, then his neck. “But his memories are more important, and we all know there’s only one way to get them.”

“That’s not true.” Newt spoke up, surprising the other boys in the Gathering. Newt usually kept a stony silence throughout all Gatherings, until directly asked his opinion. He sat up a little bit straighter and glanced around the room. “There is another way to restore our memories, although the people who didn’t come up in the first group wouldn’t remember it. We had instructions, though I suppose they were more of a bloody threat.”

“You can’t be seriously proposing that.” Alby shook his head. “I’d rather send the shank to the Grievers than try that crackpot attempt.”

“We’re not sending him to the Grievers! He’s been through enough with them.” Newt crossed his arms around his chest and narrowed his eyes. “Whatever power I have as second in command, I am bloody using it.”

“You have no power unless I’m not here. Which I am.” Alby shook his head with an eye roll. “But you’re right, we’re not trying the other method either. His memories aren’t worth that much.”

“I think they might be.” Minho pitch in, making eye contact with Newt quickly. Newt nodded at him, and he believed shortly that they were on the same page. Thomas needed his memories back, it would be the best thing for them both.

“And are you volunteering to the partner in this project of yours?” Alby cocked an eyebrow upwards, tapping his fingers impatiently on the table. “Because you know that it has to be somebody of a close connection.”

“I would say that Minho is the best for the job.” Newt nodded his agreement, shooting the Asian boy a quick smile. “He’ll just have to get Thomas to agree. We can’t do this without his approval, it takes both of you.”

“It’s like sex.” Frypan spoke up with a smirk. “You both need to give consent.”

Gally punched Frypan in the shoulder with a sharp laugh. “What do you know about sex, Frypan?”

“The same as you do.” Frypan laughed with a wink. Gally’s face appeared to heat up, and the room was quiet for a moment while thoughts they didn’t want about Frypan and Gally moved around their brains. Minho physically had to shake the thoughts from his head.

“Are you sure I’m the best choice for this?” Minho asked, suddenly looking nervous. He pulled on the collar of his shirt, and his eyes darted over to Newt’s. Newt thought that the tough Runner looked a little pale.

“Scared?” Alby asked him, his eyes also trailing over towards Newt.

“No.” Minho scoffed, though the nervousness was seeping through his expression of boredom. “I’m just wondering if there might be somebody… better.”

Newt glanced upwards once again, feeling Minho’s eyes on him. The two boys made eye contact, it Newt felt the power shake through the room. He knew exactly what was being implied, and a feeling of confusion filling his gut.

“Oh you can’t be bloody- me?” Newt shook his head. “No. No, Minho you’re his best friend. He spends the most time with you.”

“Spending the most time with me, and me being his best friend are not the same thing, Newt.” Minho stated with a shake of his head. “Since the minute the Greenie got here, he’s been looking to you for help and guidance. It makes the most sense for it to be you the one he goes through this with.”

Newt shook his head, distaste settling on this features. “Yes, but you survived a night in the Maze together. If anything says ‘let’s get bloody bonded for life’, it’s that.”

Minho shook his head adamantly, eyes shining. “It’ll be you or nothing, Newt. I won’t work with anyone else.”

“You don’t know that. I think it has to be you, Minho.” Newt tried to argue, but looking around the room he could see that he was fighting a losing battle. Minho had everybody else convinced that Newt was the one who would be able to break through to Thomas.

“Bloody klunk.”

Xxx

Thomas looked up, almost as though he could sense that Newt was walking towards him. Newt shot the new boy a smile, and wringed his hands together in nerves. This was not a conversation he was looking forward to having in the slightest. He’d avoid it if he could, but Newt agreed that Thomas’ memories might be the most important piece of the rather large puzzle that was the Glade.

“Morning, Tommy.” Newt agreed, crouching down to sit beside the dark haired boy. Thomas shot him a small smile and picked at the grass. He appeared more tired than Newt had ever seen him, including after coming back from the Maze after the full night. Which was odd, as Thomas hadn’t even been Running that day.

“Hi, Newt.” Thomas said, his voice sounding louder than usual. Newt racked is brain to think of something to say to the boy, but Thomas beat him to it. “Just say it. I know you had a Gathering about me, about everybody whose been Stung remembering me. Just tell me what you decided.”

Newt nodded, glad that Thomas had made the move to the serious conversation so that he didn’t have to. “We decided that your memories are important, and that we need to get them back.”

Thomas shook his head, a small but sad smile settling on his face. “So… what? You’re going to go throw to the Grievers? Hope I don’t die?”

“It was discussed.” Newt nodded, resolving not to lie to Thomas. The boy needed to know everything. “But it wasn’t the only thing discussed.”

Thomas titled his head to the side, confusion settling over his features. It was a look Newt was used to, but it stop his heart from racing every time he saw it. “What do you mean?”

“Well.” Newt said slowly, eyes darkening. “There’s a way, but it’s bloody dangerous. None of us have dared try it, not sure what would happen.”

 “What is it?” Thomas asked, playing with the grass again. He looked so concerned, but also so ready that Newt wanted to cry. He didn’t want to tell Thomas anything, he wanted to pull him into a huge hug and guard him from the world. It was cruel and this was horrible, it wasn’t something Thomas should have to deal with it. It wasn’t since fault his memories had been stolen from him.

 “It’s horrible. Painful. It’ll change you.” Newt informed him, leaning forward. Their faces were close together and Thomas’ eyes widened. His hands tightened in the grass and his shoulder shook a little bit, but he didn’t look away. The boys held eye contact and Thomas nodded a little bit, letting Newt know that he could keep talking. That he should explain what he was on about. “You will need to be submerged in the water, the stream in the back of the Glade. We will have to hold you under, until your breathing stops and you reach the land between this world and the next. Essentially, you will have to commit ritual suicide.”

 Thomas definitely went pale this time, and his hands clenched in the grass. “You’ll… they’ll be able to bring me back? Revive me?”

 Newt nodded. “Under the assumption that they’re be no complications and that the creators weren’t just lying to us, then yes. They’ll be able to bring you back, and once you’re back… you should have your full memories.”

 Thomas nodded. “Okay, let’s do it.”

 Newt was surprised by Thomas’ ambition, but only slightly. Part of him had expected as much, he knew that Thomas wanted answers as much as the rest of them did. Newt had figured Thomas would do anything to get them, just as the other Gladers would.

 “There’s just… there’s one other thing.” Newt said slowly, biting his lip. “You need… you need somebody to go with you. Somebody who will pull you back. Somebody to hold you to this world, like glue.”

 Thomas looked confused for a moment, before his eyes widened. “You… they’re going to make you die with me?”

 “Nobody’s making me.” Newt argued, although it was partly a lie. “And we’ll only be dead temporarily. They can bring us back, they will bring us back.”

 

“No, Newt, I won’t have you dying for me.” Thomas shook his head, lower lip trembling. “I can’t be responsible for that. I won’t be.”

 

“We debated Minho but-“Newt started only to be cut off completely by Thomas moments after he began speaking.

 

“Better Minho than you! Let it be Minho.” Thomas said, pushing himself up onto his knees. Newt shook his head, despair filling his stomach.

 

“Really wish you hadn’t said that, Tommy, because now it’s got to be me.” Newt shook his head. “The person who goes with you as got to the person you feel the closes to, the one who CAN pull you back when it’s time. If you’d feel better leading Minho to die than me, I’ve got to be the one who goes with you.”

 

Thomas looked away and Newt was truly shocked to see the tears in his brown eyes. “I don’t want you to die.”

 

“If we don’t get your memories, Tommy, we all die. One a night until there’s none left.” Newt reminded him, placing his hand down on top of Thomas’. Thomas looked up and made eye contact with Newt before nodding.

 

“Alright, let’s do it. Let’s do it now, get it over with.”

 

Xxx

Newt stood at the edge of the stream, arms covering up his bare stomach. He’d never been confidence in himself, and having all these people around looking at him half-naked wasn’t doing much to help his self-esteem. 

“Don’t worry, you look fine.” Minho whispered in his ear as he walked past, the small piece of paper that had the instructions in his hands. He shot Newt a cocky grin and walked over to stand between the two boys.

 

“Sure hope you shanks don’t die.” Minho said, nodding at Alby to signal the beginning of the ritual. “We’re going to need you to fight off the Grievers.”

 

“Shut up, Minho.” Alby demanded, looking away from Newt as though the sight of him pained the elder boy. Newt shook his head, trying to clear it from all thought. All he should be focus on right now is Thomas’ memories, getting back all the memories and getting them the hell out of this place.

 

“They’re going to make it.” Chuck piped up, smiling at his friend from where he stood in the crowd. Thomas gave him a curt nod before turning back to the stream, his face as white as snow.

 

“Take his hand.” Alby spoke harshly to Newt, who stepped closer to Thomas and did as Alby commanded. “Now both you walk into the water.”

 

Newt winced at the cold that washed over his body in rapid speed. He looked over at Thomas, and knew without question that the discomfort was mutual. Neither boy had expected the water to be so cold. Minho and Alby both stepped in after them, Minho swearing under his breath at the chill. They grabbed hold of a pair of shoulders and pushing them both under the freezing water.

 

Newt told himself not to fight it, not to struggle. To just let the water wash over him, taking control and making him loose everything for a moment. He couldn’t, however, and knew he struggled against Minho’s grip. He could feeling himself fighting everything, though he also felt himself grow weaker and knew when his battle was coming to a close. The small blessing Newt had been given was that- with his body pushed under the water- he couldn’t see the tears streaming down Minho’s cheeks, couldn’t see the hardness on Alby’s face, couldn’t see the exact moment when Thomas stopped fighting just moments before he did.

 

Once the bodies remained in water without struggle, bobbing without life, Minho and Alby released their grips and stepped backwards. Minho wiped at the tears before glancing at his watch. He was going to count every second of the next fifteen minutes, he didn’t want to risk being too late save them.

 

Xxx

_Thomas stood and he could himself. This verison of himself was younger, only slightly but still younger. His hair was long, matted around his face. The girl who’d turned up in the box- the name Teresa came into his head, though Thomas wasn’t sure why- was standing beside him, rubbing his arm lightly._

_“You knew the time would come. It’s time, Tom, I’m sorry.” Teresa shook her head slightly and stepped away. “I convinced them to let you do it yourself this time. Don’t make me regret it.”_

_Teresa walked away and Thomas became aware of somebody standing by his side. Turning around, Thomas made eye contact with Newt and his heart jumped._

_“This a memory of yours?” Newt asked him, his voice echoing in a way that Teresa’s hadn’t. Perhaps because this was a memory that they were seeing and Newt wasn’t a part of this memory._

_“Maybe. I think so. I don’t know.” Thomas shook his head, and went to move before realizing that he had his fingers entwined with Newt’s. Newt glanced down too, seeming equally surprised by the closeness._

_“We went into the water holding hands. Must be because of that.” Newt said mildly, though he too, seemed a little caught off guard. Thomas nodded, but appreciation the closeness. Newt was like an anchor, something keeping him from floating off into the memory and never coming back._

_Neither boy tried to break contact as they approached the younger version of Thomas._

_“How much younger do you think I am?” Thomas asked Newt, not taking his eyes away from the younger version of himself. Even without looking, he could tell that Newt was shrugging._

_“Maybe two years?” Newt said, his head tilting to the side as he tried to get a better look at the boy in front of them. This Thomas had longer hair, but he was also shorter and chubbier. As though he’d only recently started puberty. Newt had the distinct feeling that if he spoke, his voice would be higher than Thomas’ was now and that there would be probably be some obvious cracks in it._

_“Haven’t you been in the Maze for two years?” Thomas asked, a horrible realization coming over Thomas. He did look at Newt now, who seemed to almost be glowing in the faded room around them. “You don’t think…?”_

_“Probably.” Newt said, not even allowing Thomas to finish the sentence. He didn’t need to, he knew exactly what the boy was getting at. This memory was probably when they sent the first group of boys into the Glade. Thomas really had been working with them all that time._

_Thomas felt his stomach drop to the ground when the younger version of Newt was dragged into the room. His hair was shorter- much shorter- and he was chubbier, too, though Thomas didn’t think he was much shorter than he was now._

_“Tommy.” Young Newt gasped as the guards pushed him to the ground. Young Thomas winced and looked away until the door closed behind the guards. Once they were gone, Young Thomas ran over to Young Newt and pulled him to his feet, wrapping him into an embrace._

_“Did they hurt you? I’m sorry, Newt, I’m so sorry.” Thomas spoke slowly, his voice indeed higher._

_“It’s fine, it’s fine.” Young Newt assured him, pushing Young Thomas away slightly. “I’m fine… at least, for now I am.”_

_Young Thomas’s brow crinkled. “”What do you mean?”_

_Young Newt tilted his head. “Don’t act like you’re stupid, Tommy. We both know what needs to happen now. Just do it, or they’ll kill us both. We’re not that important to their Variables.”_

_“Variables?” Newt asked, looking over at Thomas. Thomas shrugged and continued to watch in horror at the scene that unfolded in front of him. Watched him implant the chip- the Swipe, he heard his younger self call it- watch him submerged Young Newt into the water chamber and watched as Young Newt disappeared into the Glade._

_Once it was over, both Young and Old Thomas were crying._

_Xxx_

 

Thomas and Newt flew upwards out of the water on their own, causing Minho to jump backwards in shock. The two boys were wrenched apart by their own need for oxygen but the separation caused a physical pain in them both, snapping them back together like an elastic band.

 

Thomas arms flew around Newt’s middle and Newt held him close. Thomas’ breath sounded dangerously close to sobs and Minho stood back, giving them both a well needed moment.

 

“Well?” Alby asked, appearing suddenly. “What do you remember? Did it work?”

 

Thomas didn’t move, keeping his head buried into Newt’s neck while he answered. Newt rolled his eyes slightly at the muffled words that came from his mouth, and Alby exchanged an annoyed look with Minho.

 

“What did you say?” Alby demanded again, placing his hands on his hips. Thomas took a deep breath and pulled himself away from Newt.

 

“WICKED is good.”


End file.
